Invisible is She!
Leola is gifted with administration, which is causing her quite a bit of heartache because she sees issues with planning others just don’t see. Not only is this an issue for her in church but at work too. She needs to learn how to train herself to say what needs to be said then and not say more. She needs to understand what needs to be done when it absolutely needs to be done and not more. She also needs to learn to allow time for the people to catch up in their own mind without the “I told you so” stance. It is not about pride for Leola, at least in this situation, it is about not being listened too by leaders or people in authority. This plays right into her insecurities so she walks out of meetings or conversation with another crack in her heart. Leola has felt invisible all of her life. Each part of her life has brought a new season of feeling as if no one sees or hears her. Maybe it is this gift of administration from the Lord or maybe it is just her? She does know one thing – it is a horrible feeling not to be seen and she doesn’t like it very much!
When Leola feels invisible she ramps up her actions toward noticeability ultimately inflating her anger because she is getting nowhere. What she hadn’t noticed before is she is attempting to get rewarded by man! The premise of getting our reward from man is complicated and stealthy. At work she understands she is looking for the recognition of capability and at home she is looking for ignorant compliance to her demands. This is simple ten years later to understand, but at the time it was a struggle to work it all out. For as long as Leola can remember she has been one step ahead of most people with insight into the issues facing them. It has never been something she bragged about but it has always been a burden for her. She couldn’t understand why man could not see what she was seeing. It was simple to her! Maybe it was her! Maybe folks just didn’t see her. Oh, they saw her long enough to call her ugly but not long enough to take advice; long enough to tell her what to do but not long enough to listen. On her knees bawling like a baby, God would teach her He sees her and a lot more.
Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 6:1) This verse we read but don’t see it for what it really means to us on a daily basis! Our deep feelings of insecurity come from the rewards we are attempting to get from man and do not receive. Men, of all kinds, are trying to get rewards from men and it is highly promoted. Gifted leaders are rewarded by man with leadership but it goes to their head and they begin to accept the reward from man rather than Jesus. Gifted musicians take reward from man then fall prey to pride and start singing worship to the devil. People cross the line every day under the guise of getting rewards from men. We see it happening daily from the world and the church including people who love Jesus. We are just a little more subtle about it. We tell people how much money we gave, who we helped, what we do for others and the like. The minute we open our mouth we have our reward!
He Sees Her!
Leola, still on her knees, cried out to God telling Him everything she feels. She told God, people don’t see her and she isn’t sure He doesn’t see her either. He has removed everything important to her and here she was alone in her ‘Jesus Room’ with nothing left to lose. Her heart was broken beyond repair from being invisible all of her life. She couldn’t stop crying and her emotions were running the gamete. When she stopped crying there was no lightning bolt to knock her out of her chair. There was no angel standing in front of her to tell her face to face God sees her. She just felt relief from the tirade because she actually understood herself why she was so disappointed with God. She expected God to take from her because she had known no different. She expected God to be blind to her because she felt no other feeling. Leola placed a human standard on God. Up to that point there was no male figure in her life she could say had any favourable impact in her life and God, to her, had been no different. She loved Him dearly but she also wasn’t expecting much from Him either. She didn’t expect Him to meet her needs, meet her expectation or to meet any of His promises in her life. The year following this outburst was enlightening to say the very least. God transformed the way she saw Him but more over He transformed the way she saw herself. She loved Jesus with all of her heart and did everything possible to obey His every command but her invisibility had engulf her whole life even into her Spiritual life. It had permeated so deep she was even invisible to herself. God raised her from the dead and changed how she looked at herself through learning more about rewards from the Bible. Leola now understands the difference between the rewards from Heaven and the rewards from man! She works fervently for the rewards from Heaven knowing God sees her and is the rewarder of those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). They are invisible rewards!
We are made to want reward but not from people from God! He knew we would need this to be driven. He gifts us to be driven in specific directions yet He also knew that same gift is used in the world to make money to live on. There are poor Christians and there are filthy rich Christians and everything in between. Our reward is not the money, the accolades or the power because God can take all of that away in a minute. Our reward is the treasures we are storing up in Heaven where moth and rust do not destroy (Matthew 6:20). This week think about why you work so hard and for whom!
Meditation Verses this week: Matthew 6:1; Hebrews 11:6; Matthew 6:20