The White Picket Fence book I have written was written because I saw a need for women to know they need to set boundaries in their lives. Humanity on the whole is pretty sloppy about what they will do and what they won’t do depending on who they are doing it with and where. I have been teaching teens and adults about boundaries for 12 years and encounter the same thing over and over. Why do I need boundaries? What good can come of having boundaries? Aren’t morals good enough? Most of the folks I have taught so far are not Christians therefore the reason I have for them is different than the reasons I have for Christians. For the unsaved the reasons are personal and for the saved they are Spiritual.
This week, you are becoming aware of the need for the “White Picket Fence”. With no fence to hold you back, you are free to roam into transgressions. whether they work for you or not. Think this week about being surrounded by a “White Picket Fence”, with our Jesus Christ as its foundation, and what a comfort it would be to have that fence surrounding you. Let us start first by going to the Word of God for the hope we will need to be successful. Kathleen Derbyshire; The White Picket Fence, 2017
In The White Picket Fence the characters deal with becoming aware they need boundaries. They are Christian but they have the same problems as non-Christians. The difference is we call them sin they call them bad habits. Real life is real life, saved or unsaved. The sun comes up on both of us and goes down on both of us. We all need to create boundaries in our lives so when the sun goes down at night we are safe. Boundaries keep us safe from others and ourselves. My book doesn’t talk of others invading our space but it happens all the time primarily because we don’t have a white picket fence that keeps them out. If we choose not to formulate, set and defend our own personal Biblical Boundaries we will never be able to keep others out of our space. As a Christian we are not to be doormats. None of the Biblical characters were doormats nor did they allow others to invade them. They endured for the Truth with those who would persecute them for the truth (read Acts). If someone is invading you for their good you need to put up a white picket fence and stand behind it. People who deliberately hurt you for their own good pleasure need to be stopped. You will be ineffective in the Body of Christ if you allow it to continue. With that said let us move on.
The characters in The White Picket Fence learn in the first week they must create boundaries if they are ever to reach any goal God sets for them. When God asks you to do something that is a goal He has set for you. Each character including the protagonist find God has given them a goal. Setting boundaries not only gets you to a goal in one piece but it changes your character alone the way. You will find when you begin to realize you need boundaries that if is about your character traits right from the start. We all have morals but those morals are blurry on most days. You might think stealing from the poor is wrong but stealing from the rich is okay. You might think lying to get out of trouble is wrong but lying to make a friend feel better is okay. Can you see where the blurry comes in? This is what I call a wavey line boundary. The wind, the day, the month, the mood or the friend can cause you to wave over to their side breaking the moral boundary you have almost set. If you keep jumping over your white picket fence one day your foot will get caught and a very large ditch will be there for you to fall in.
In Matthew 5:37 Jesus says, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” He said this in conclusion talking about making vows we continuously break. The vows we make to ourselves mean just as much as the ones we make to others. What is more important than that is the last part of this verse. Any answer other than “yes” or “no” when that is required is from the evil one. When you set a boundary or vow to yourself and the answer is supposed to be “no” when you say “yes” it is from the evil one. In other words, you are not serving Jesus by catering to people against His will you are serving the devil. Make now mistake, even doing good can be from the evil one. If God has not asked you to do it than you are disobeying Him and serving Satan.
Setting and defending boundaries is not easy. If it were everyone would do it. The world is going to hell in a hand basket because of the works they are doing. We are to be set apart and doing the works of Jesus. That means setting Biblical Boundaries based on what God is asking you to do. If He is asking you to give more money then boundaries need to be set on your spending. If He is asking you to teach then boundaries must be set on your time learning. If He is asking you to serve the elderly then boundaries must be set on your time with the young. If He is asking you to write then boundaries must be set on your social life. Each time Jesus asks you to do something He expects you will do it. If you are not able to do it because of life constraints then change your life because what we do for Jesus will have a much larger impact on the world.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first because our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.